With Love, From Secret Admirer

    I can't believe it's already February! There's pink, red, and hearts everywhere... and love is in the air! Can you feel it? Like most girls I know, I am hopeful that someone will be thinking romantic things about me as this Valentine's holiday approaches and maybe I will even get a special surprise... 

    Speaking of valentine's traditions, for many years in a row, each Valentine's Day, I would get a surprise bouquet of roses or a valentines gift, and with that a letter, note, or card, a special message, but no name. Basically, I would get a beautiful, amazing valentine from an anonymous person, signed "With Love" or the like, and then a question mark in place of a name or simply "From Secret Admirer". I asked my parents, my friends, like maybe they did this for me because they felt sorry for me? They were adamant and sincere in their denials, so they were out. I had a few guy friends that jokingly took ownership of these gifts, but then also shamefully admitted that it was not them. It was really hard to pin down just one person. The uniqueness of the gifts and the voice in the messaging led me to believe that these gifts were not from just one person every single year... 

    While I never found out who sent the gifts, I had some good guesses, but nobody stepped up to let me know they were responsible. Now why would someone do that? Why would anyone spend the money to send such a lovely valentine's gift and message, but never admit that it was from them? And why did it keep happening to me? I'm not complaining, not one bit. I ask this out of sincere bewilderment. Each gift, each year, was always a wonderful surprise, and yet I still spent the holiday alone...

    I went through an extreme spectrum of ideas about why this would happen. From questioning my attractiveness or dating radar on one end to 'maybe I'm too much' on the other end. It would get so exhausting when people would ask why I was still single. How do you explain this unusual pattern? I got really good at short answers.  "I don't know" or "Too hot too handle" or "I'm a sweet spirit"... and so on. 

    Through the course of these surprises, I learned a lot. I learned that different colored roses mean different things. A dozen red roses in various styles of vases circled with pretty bows was the most common surprise for me. Red roses represent passion, strong romantic love, and devotion. A couple times, I was surprised with a dozen red and white roses. White roses represent pure love. A few times, I received red and pink roses. Pink roses represent admiration and appreciation... These messages were significant! 

    I learned a lot about myself. I learned that I really like the smell of roses (who doesn't?). I love chocolate covered strawberries and soft stuffed animals (hahaha). I learned that I don't like talking about my dating life to people, and not to take myself too seriously (and now I'm really good at giving short answers). I learned that I love these kinds of surprises, even if I don't know who they are from. It's the thought that counts, right? I learned to appreciate those thoughtful gestures. I especially learned that when I do get that special valentine's gift and there is an actual name on the card, then that dude will be for REAL! And ultimately, that's what I hope for... 

    In the meantime, how can I help you feel the love? What would make your Valentine's Day feel special? 

With Love,
Skibidi "Anonymous" Babe 

Christmas Presents or Presence?

    The Christmas holiday season is one of my favorite times of the year. My parents have always put so much effort into making this season a very magical experience. To the point that, one year, on Christmas Eve, I was awakened by my visiting aunt in the middle of the night to see Santa on the roof of our house! Just when I was getting to an age where I started to question a lot of things, I was brought back into belief. Maybe my parents didn't get all the things right while I was growing up, but they sure got Christmas right (hahaha)! I have been truly blessed! 

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    I have so many amazing memories from my childhood that I associate with this season. The family traditions, like our seasonal Santa sightings (as I mentioned above), putting up and decorating the tree, the Christmas Eve pajamas, the Christmas Eve "Ball", the children acting out the nativity scene (which always turned out to get a few chuckles), the warm music, the laughter and games, the baking and cooking, the festive smells, the parties, dinners, and joyous times with family, the ugly Christmas sweaters, the vibrant and creative decorations, going on drives to see the lights, the surprising and not so surprising gifts... and waking up on Christmas morning to all those presents under the tree... all hold a special place in my heart. Now, I am on the other side of the magic. Instead of experiencing it, like I did as a child, I'm on the side of creating it, like my parents did for me. I recognize and greatly appreciate the time, effort, and imagination they put into making this holiday season so extra special. And they continue to do so... 

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    Adulting has been tough, though. I have lost myself in the stress of adulting. Even though I can sense the magic about me, I haven't been able to truly be "present" to enjoy it. My mind has been caught up on struggles with my health (I have autoimmune diseases), on the bills that need to be paid, and how much I need to get done each day before I can sit down and relax. Even when I get the time to chill, my mind falls back to all those responsibilities and how I'm going to get what needs to get done. I want to put my phone down, shut down my computer, put all that stuff aside, and focus on the people around me and the precious time I get with them. What I want for Christmas as an adult is much simpler than what I wanted as a child, though I relish in the memories. I want to be present for the magic again. I want to enjoy the little things, like watching a Christmas movie with my family and drinking hot chocolate. I don't expect many presents under the tree for me, but I do hope I can give something special to someone else in a way that will be truly magical and memorable for them. I want to make someone smile. I want to see the surprise in the children's eyes when they open their presents on Christmas morning. And I want to give back to my parents in a way that will make them proud and feel joy. 

This year for Christmas, I want to be present. 

Merry Christmas! 

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My Theory on Physical Attraction and Dating for Love

     

    Happy Friday! It's the weekend and a lot of people will be going out. Many will be going out on dates... But how many people will actually be going out with serious intentions of finding something real and lasting? My assumption is that most people are looking for love. They are looking for something long term or lasting. Given this assumption, I have a theory on physical attraction and dating...

    Let's imagine a diagram shaped like a diamond (see video below). This diamond is broken into three parts: the top part that comes to a narrow point, the bottom part that also comes to a narrow point, and the middle part, which is the fattest part and takes up most of the diamond's space. When we meet people of the opposite sex (or whatever team we are attracted to) we have an instinctual tendency to categorize them based on physical attraction (we also have an instinctual tendency to make subconscious judgements based on their appearance, but let's get back on track). Most of the people we meet will be what we consider average in appearance, average or somewhat attractive. This group belongs in the middle part of the diamond. Then there are those that we meet that we are not attracted to whatsoever. No attraction at all. This group will be filtered to the bottom of our diamond. Finally, there are those we meet that upon first glance our eyes dilate, our hearts beat a bit faster. We are immediately very attracted. This group is filtered to our highest part of the diamond.

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    Now here's the catch. Attraction can increase or decrease based on what we learn about others as we get to know them. Someone we may have placed in our middle or average group can move up or down in attraction, and can even gradually be filtered into one of the other tiers. Someone we may have placed in our top tier group may move down, even to our lowest tier, or up more to the highest point of the diamond (but this last part is extremely rare). Unfortunately, even though those we place in our bottom group can "grow on us", the attraction (or lack thereof) will never grow on us. They will always stay in the bottom group. 

    

    But there's good news! We are all unique individuals. We have our diverse perspectives, tastes, styles, likes or dislikes, favorites, priorities, backgrounds, experiences, etc. What one person may categorize as their top tier, another may categorize in their middle tier. What one person may categorize in their bottom, another may have in their middle or even top (so they have a chance)! You see how this all works... 

    In my life I have had many experiences with this theory in action. I am a really picky person, so I don't filter to my highest group very often. At all. It's an extremely rare occasion that I will filter someone to my highest tier, and even more rare that he will maintain that status. More often than not, in my experience, they move down. Can you think of a time where you've had experience with this theory? Have you ever met someone that you were very attracted to, but upon getting to know them better, they lost their high tiered status? How about those middle tiered people? Has someone grown more attractive to you after getting to know them better? How much has personality played a role in one's attractiveness? And for the bottom group, has there ever been a person that no matter how awesome or kind or full of personality they've been, or how much you wished you could feel the attraction for them, you just didn't? 

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    How do you feel other people are likely to filter you? Maybe it just depends on the person, right? Or maybe you tend to get filtered a certain way? 

    Upon reading this, I hope you will go into the weekend and all your socializing with this theory in the forefront of your mind. Pay attention to those you meet, ask questions to get to know them better. If you are truly looking for love, maybe you will have an improved filter for who should really be in your top group? 

    So many questions and things to think about... I will share more on this topic in future posts. Stay tuned, Friends. 

    Happy Weekend!

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As for My Blog Name

As for my name, "Skibidi Anonymous Babe"... 

    I was on the phone with my BFF recently, when her son, who is now 11 years old, started sharing some interesting common sayings among today's middle schoolers. Apparently, 'What the sigma?' is a thing. So is 'sus'... But my favorite is 'Skibidi Toilet'. Skibidi anything! After being informed of today's vernacular among youth, my BFF and I started playing with words. We came up with other words of Greek origin, like 'omicron' and 'epsilon' to make some new phrases like 'skibidi omicron real estate'. (I actually used that phrase to respond to someone via text and see how he would take it)... Let's just say we got a good laugh about it. 

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    I have been itching to create a blog for a long time now. I had mentioned this to my friend during that phone conversation, and since we were already playing with words, we started experimenting with different names for my blog. My favorite new word, 'skibidi' seemed catchy enough, obviously. The way it just bounces off your lips and out of your mouth, I had to throw it in. But then how could I remain mysterious when sharing details about my life and thoughts without oversharing about my actual self? I guess I'll have to remain anonymous, so there's the second part. And finally, this part was probably the easiest, as I was already thinking of using this word, and it was strongly on my radar because a number of dudes (my way of saying 'guys') had recently referred to me that way. 'Babe' was the final touch. 

    There you have it. Skibidi Anonymous Babe - The Blog - is born! 

    Now for the juicy stuff... Stay tuned.

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